Cynthia Logan holds a portrait of her daughter, Jessica "Jessie" Logan. (The Enquirer/Gary Landers)Jessie Logan hung herself last year. She had been distraught over a nude photo of her that she had "sexted" to her boyfriend and "somehow" made it onto hundreds of cell phones through several high schools.
This is a tragedy and a waste of a young girl's life. The suicide, unfortunately, is not an isolated incident. Sexting, unfortunately, is a growing trend among teens and twenties as a more "provocative" way to flirt. While many may see the practice as harmless, Jessie's story proves that there is a darker side to sexting.
Jessie was naive in assuming that her boyfriend would keep her private parts private. She was also naive in assuming that once her nude photo became public, that she wouldn't suffer any consequences from her decision to post it. Jessie's parents were naive in their daughter's decisions. Jessie's boyfriend was a complete idiot. Period. He has the culpability of perhaps encouraging Jessie to sext him in the first place. He is certainly culpable for sending along her photo to others. The high school kids were idiots for treating so lightly such an infringement on Jessie's body and feelings.
Under current federal laws, sending sexually explicit photos of underage children is a federal offense. Jessie, however, was 18. There is no federal law against nude photography of 18 year olds.
Now, Jessie's parents are attempting to launch a national campaign seeking laws to address "sexting" - the practice of forwarding and posting sexually explicit cell-phone photos online. The Logans also want to warn teens of the harassment, humiliation and bullying that can occur when that photo gets forwarded. (Cincinnati Enquirer)There are already federal laws in place protecting against child pornography. Eighteen year olds are considered adults under the law. It would be impossible to adequately enforce sexting laws. While I commend Jessie's parents for trying to get the word out about the dangers of sexting, I'd argue that trying to create anti-sexting laws is counter-intuitive to the real problem.
The real problem is the failed social experiment of sexual promiscuity.
American society has become increasingly tolerant of sexual promiscuity. Sexting is just another symptom of the general acceptance that sexual promiscuity isn't any big deal. In Jessie's case, the consequences of sexting were deadly serious.
But what I'd like to point out is the parents' responsibility and role in teaching and protecting their children from the greater danger of considering sexual promiscuity as no big deal. There are ways to protect your children and give them a better chance of avoiding the pitfalls that Jessie succumbed to. No one is perfect, parents and children make mistakes, but shouldn't we be trying to give our children the best possible outcome so they have a chance of avoiding the pitfalls of promiscuity?
Several years ago, when AIM and other instant messaging systems started to be the thing to do online, our daughter got caught up in the fun of chatting with several friends at the same time. The trouble was, she'd chat for hours on end. Chatting became a substitute for actual interaction with her friends. Chatting got in the way of her homework.
So what did we, as parents do? We first cautioned her to limit the time she would spend chatting. Then we timed her. When neither of these helped, I removed instant messaging from the computer. (Keep in mind that we had one computer at home that everyone used. Children can get along just fine sharing the family computer.) Later in life, we got our daughter a cell phone. Having learned the lesson from online chatting, none of us has texting on our phones.
Are we evil parents for keeping our daughter from texting? Are we evil for teaching our daughter a better way? Did we, in reality, stunt our daughter's growth? Can a child live without texting? The reality is, our daughter got over the initial instant messaging withdrawal, saw the benefits, and now I can't even get her to join Facebook and be my friend there (her decision and I think it's a good one). She has no desire to text. No texting. No sexting.
Parents need to step up into the role that we accepted when we got married and started to have children. Children deserve a better way - to be shown how to avoid the pitfalls of sexual promiscuity. Shouldn't we as parents take some responsibility for raising our children?
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